A Creation Theory

It must be said that I am a master bullshit artist before anything else is said. Trust me, it's relevant. On the first day of real classes this year, my science teacher asked us to write a creation theory we knew of. Being a master bullshit artist (I told you it was relevant) I decided to write an offbeat little joke theory of creation. However, instead of it being a silly story, it actually became good. It's amazing how a good story can come out of a fifteen minute free write. So, here it is, pulled from this year's "school notebook."



There was once a man named Heraldo Norstramus, who sat in a big, blank place for no time at all, because time had never started.
He was the only thing in all of nothingness, but somehow he felt that he also was nothing. Then, no day (because days did not yet exist) Heraldo Norstramus picked up his big black hands (for there was no color yet) and clapped them together. A sound was made. It was the first sound ever made.
Heraldo was so ecstatic about creating something in nothing-ness that he tried all sorts of different things. He made many bizarre noises. He grabbed the edges of nothingness and weaved it into a blanket. He had created something out of nothing.
That Not-Night, as Heraldo slept under his thick blanket of nothingness, he dreamed for the first time, (though time did not exist.) He dreamed of an orb of light, being circled by another orb composed of bright things he had never seen.
When he woke, his blanket of nothingness was no longer nothing. It was filled with all of the images from his dream.
So Heraldo went about reconstructing the blanket. He folded the green and blue circle into an orb, and thus the world was created. Heraldo began to think of spectacular creatures. The images flowed from his brain into the depths of the cloth of nothing turned something. He named it Earth. And when he stopped to gaze lovingly upon his creation, he saw that all of the beads of sweat had flown away from his skin into the nothingness, thus creating the universe.
Heraldo was so overjoyed by this miraculous sight that he began to glow with radiant, hot light. Every day he moves his creation, to see all the sides of it.